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User blog:Cocoabean/CAJ Reviews
Reviews are probably an old thing by now.. But I just wish to voice MY'' critique on stories. Rating System S+ S S- A+ A A- B+ B B- C+ C C+ D+ D D- E+ E E- '''Comedy Ratings O+ O R+ R R- Other Pages Rating 0-10 Unspoken by Gotek Pros Not many people have considered writing about Freeza's soldiers that have been considered weak..A pro for originality. Orlen..No fanfiction I have read has written about that Orange Freeza Soldier and given him a personality. Giving such characters shown to be evil working for a heartless being such an innocence is such..ah..words cant describe. Cons Ah..The most hurtful part of the reviews..The bad parts.. Don't start when Orlen and Appule are 13 and 11; respectively. Please start a new sentence when someone speaks. Chapter 2- First sentence. Fix that up. How am I supposed to know all about Appule's planet when you give me nothing? Who are the Paykians? Why did you not describe Appule's father's battles or ANY battle very much in detail? Grammar is a bit effy.. How come Appule had little to no emotion expressed when his father died? Who is Arko? DBZ uses metric terms- yards are not used, use meters instead Final Comments: This story is original, and truly amazing. If you improved on my cons stated..It would become a masterpiece. If I hurt feelings, I had no intent, I'm just helping you improve. Grade: B- '''between '''C+ Dragon Ball GVB by TeamUnitedNerds Pros Good job on the artwork. King Cold as a major villain, having his own saga, is an interesting plot. Seems like you'll spend lots of time working on it, and the longer it takes, it'll probably be better. Description is ok, but not best seller worthy. Cons A sequel to Z but GT isnt canon..Done plenty of times. Some of the grammar almost makes me want to ask why I'm on the internet. That isn't creative. How unoriginal. I mean, it's really a cliche to have change of heart from evil to good, For God's sake, TUN, please make a new paragraph after someone speaks or write your story in script form. Why would Vegeta randomly be with Goku? Vegeta is relatively OOC. He doesn't reveal his weaknesses! I need more explanation on why Broly has had a change of heart. Why would King Kai try to freaking KILL Goku? I understand Broly but not Goku. Final Comments: This story is good, but not amazing. There are some odd moments, and some good ones. But GVB still needs some work until I can truly declare it a masterpiece. Grade: C That Much Sweeter by TeamUnitedNerds Pros I've never seen a fan fiction about Vegeta as a kid, pro for originality. Excellent description. Cui being Vegeta's friend? Interesting, in a good way. Love how it's so melancholy, a rarity on here. Cons The text is far too bunched up Only two chapters have titles and the rest dont. It's chapter 2..Then chapter 4.. The grammar makes me wanna cry. Please make a new paragraph after someone speaks. I might freaking kill someone if I see another story like that. Final Comments: Very good story from TUN. Same issues as last time, but some are different. Fix it up, and it'll be great. Grade: 'B-' Bardock: The Ultimate Saiyan by AssassinHood Category:Blog posts